“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you..”

Matthew 5: 43-44

The title of this post may strike some as strange. It is a play on the phrase, “knee jerk” reaction. Which is described as a predictable way of reacting, without thinking. In the past couple of months interactions I have seen at many different levels have caused me to want to retreat. To give up my business because of the social media aspect. I see people of different statures being attacked or insulted at all levels. My heart breaks over and over, because sometimes I cannot understand the reason for such awful words. What is worse is it has become so common place that we are almost desensitized to it. It is “trolling” or “comes with the territory.”

Someone posts a picture of lights they have chosen for a home, and someone tells them how ugly they are. A celebrity posts a Christmas card photo of her family. Every person is that photo is ripped apart based on their appearance and assumed beliefs. It is so bad in fact that it does cause them to retract the family photo. I have watched my own pool of friends on facebook curse each other out over politics. I have seen people twist positive messages and words into something negative.

What is our first reaction within our hearts and minds. And should we always put out there the first thing that crosses our mind. If it something that is negative or could be hurtful to someone else, I would dare say, no. Some people cite freedom as speech as the reason why they sling their words. However, I do not think the term “freedom of speech” was coined with Instagram trolls in mind. Or the thought that this would allow for people to say whatever they want whenever they want without any moral consequence. It seems no one wants to “censor” themselves. I can understand that to a point. This is not an argument about censorship but rather the level of human decency. Or people think because something or someone is public, or a celebrity that they should be able to withstand any verbal lashing thrown at them. There is no amount of money or success that can make anyone completely devoid from feeling the effects of words. The person you are berating on social media is exactly that, a person. Someone’s mother, brother, friend, daughter, son, aunt or uncle. A person that harbors insecurities and hardships you know nothing about. Let me say that again, you know NOTHING about. Nobody knows the full details of anyone’s life unless maybe they are directly living with them.

“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”

Ephesians 4:29

There is constructive criticism and then there is criticism meant to cut down or to hurt another. There is nothing helpful or constructive about that at all. There is no merit to being honest when your honesty is meant to hurt someone. Or when your honesty is born out of your own jealousy or discomfort. There is a time for opinions and disagreements, but do they have to be put in such a brutal way in order to convey your message. Between “cancel culture” and the court of public opinion I see many people being afraid to speak at all. We could keep telling people to grow a thicker skin, but at what point do we need to grow some self control over our mouths?

“Your own soul is nourished when you are kind, but you destroy yourself when you are cruel”

Proverbs 11:17

I am not writing this because I am perfect or blameless. However, there are plenty of things I have seen on social media, on tv or in life that have offended me. But I have never taken the time to write out hateful comments or make my anger known. Because at the end of the day all it does is cause me distress. It definitely doesn’t make anyone see it “my way.” It won’t change my situation for the better, or even give me much satisfaction. If anything it exposes my hurt and angry heart. It doesn’t make me superior or someone who has amazing self control. This is not written to build myself up or to show my moral high ground. I am hoping to encourage ANYBODY to think twice about their words. To think about the ripple effect they want to have on this world. If your “heart jerk” makes you quick to cut people down, then maybe it is time to do some work. There are so many mentions in the Bible regarding the power of words and the tongue. There is a reason for this. If you find yourself upset and consistently attacking others consider how you are using your power. Is your “heart jerk” to use your tongue as a sword, or to use discernment and encouragement. Try scouring the internet with intention of blessing someone with encouraging words. See how that fixes your mood instead of looking for fault to point out in someone else’s photo’s or words. I bet the outcome would be more of blessing than you know.

Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body.

Proverbs 16:24