When God Text Messages You
I originally wrote this post back in April, however I never hit publish. It is January of a new year, and I am coming across this again as I search for a recipe. At first, I am sad to think I am slipping back into that season. I need to explore why I keep being brought to a place that I want to give up. But at this time I am not quite as low, or alone as I felt when I wrote this in April. Although I am unclear about the future, I am waiting with hope and expectation. I am involved with a wonderful prayer group. This group came at the perfect God ordained time. I realize there has been healing since this time, in my marriage and in my spirit. Therefore, I may be uncertain, discouraged, but not as alone. And once again I notice my sister has said to me, “I hope your aren’t thinking of giving up.” I hope the following encourages you, just as it has me a second time around.
If you know my sister she very rarely speaks out about much. Another known fact is that she very rarely text messages you back, ever haha!
For her to text this song to us was so out of the blue, so completely random, and you have to understand that. If she does message us it is something funny the kids did, a picture of a dog she wants to buy, or a party set-up that she found on Pinterest. This isn’t to paint a picture of how shallow my sister is or anything. She is the exact opposite, in fact she carries so much in her world I don’t understand how she does it everyday. Also, if there is every a problem she wants to be someone to solve it and make it better for all parties involved. That being said, I am trying to paint a picture of how out of character that text message was. Which lead me to be absolutely floored in that moment. She sent a clip of the song, “Gods Not Done” by Tauren Wells. But that morning before that message, I was pretty much done.
I was to the point I was dragging myself out of bed. Pushing myself to keep taking one step after the other. Truly only willing myself to function because I have a daughter and husband I love. I do not want them to suffer because I am. I had slowly been losing my purpose everyday, I knew it. As I was trying to grab hold of things, they would break, completely shatter. I would quickly try to sweep up and find the next thing to focus on. However, it is hard to focus when you don’t even want to open your eyes anymore.
I know as I write this, it is just another moment in time. A season of life, a valley to walk through. I know I have been here before, I just need to be faithful in resting in his promise. This is another test that can be part of my testimony. The enemy sees me, he sees my will aligning with God’s will. He is angry and taking what I worked for smashing it before my eyes. Taking those fears and insecurities that I have tried to reconcile with. He using them to scream at me, it is so loud.
But then this text message comes through. With this song, from my sister, whom God used. She has no idea, maybe I will tell her someday. The day where this moment has become a memory of time where I struggled. God spoke to me, told me to keep going, and I did out of faith. Now, I am on top of the mountain again, sharing this story with a grateful heart. Hoping that it will help pull someone else out of the valley.